Wednesday, February 09, 2005

International Lovah - part Ni

My global fame grows apace. Or, at least, the opportunity to be an international famewhore. Today I got an invitation to teach a workshop in San Francisco (possibly good - can't beat a tax-deductible trip to the city by the bay) and the following request which was... just strange.

In an email from a producer in LA, I was asked to appear on a show called "Genius! Mr. Shimura's Animal Land" on Nippon TV network. That's right - the foreign, sometimes delightful and sometimes horrifying world of Japanese TV. It seems that Mr. Shimura is a well-known actor/comedian in Japan. His house was robbed while he was away last month, and he would like me to communicate with his golden retriever and miniature dachshund to get information on the suspect and details of the robbery. Not only did the producer want to interview me in the US, but to bring me to Japan and - this is the kicker - air a dramatic re-enactment with an actor playing me. Yeah.

If that's not enough to make one bubble up with nervous laughter, I don't know what is. Not that I don't think the dogs might have some good input on the situation. It's that a) good luck on finding a professional animal communicator of some worth who is willing to get themselves into a situation where they can so easily be made to look like a big ass and b) it just doesn't work that way. Even on the off chance that I could get beyond the dogs' reactions of fear and what they most likely saw of the invader (shoes and legs), it's unlikely I'll get a clear enough facial description to go on. Plus, I don't know about Japanese courts, but the odds are close to none that such evidence in a US investigation would ever be considered. Then again, their culture is very different. Who knows?

Fortunately, I was spared the decision by their desire to find someone who had already solved at least one criminal case this way, which took me out of the running. I sent a nice letter back but, although visions of a possible expenses-paid trip to Tokyo danced in my head, I can't say I was sorry to say no. I'll leave it to some other animal communicator with greater confidence or worse judgment to field this one. I have to say, however, that I'm curious to see the results, if it gets filmed.

Anyone out there ever seen that show?

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