Memememememememe....

Howdy, Natorettes! I've been spending my day recovering from what I hope will be my last 10-hr shift at the veterinary hospital for a while (not to mention my last viewing of a dangling eyeball for a while, which was a first for me, thank you). It's hard to go from laying around on one's ample ass most of the time to constantly moving for that amount of time, especially at a certain age and weight. The 8-hour shifts are alright, though. Or least they are now, while I'm not yet back in class. After that, whether I have to clone myself to get by remains to be seen.

Anyway, not having much time (or anything of interest to say), I'm finally getting to the 123 Book Meme Corn Dog tagged me for a little while ago. Here are the rules:

1. Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4. Then invite 5 friends to do the same.

And here goes:

"Everything comes and goes
Pleasure moves on too early
And trouble leaves too slow
Just when you're thinking
You've finally got it made..."

Kind of leaves ya hangin', doesn't it? And do those count as sentences? Anyway, that's from Joni Mitchell: The Complete Poems and Lyrics, which I suppose isn't so complete anymore, since it came out in 1997.

Actually, my quote in my senior year high school yearbook was from Joni Mitchell. It was from the song "Black Crow" on the album Hejira, and went thusly:

"In search of love and music
My whole life has been
Illumination
Corruption
And diving, diving, diving, diving
Diving down to pick up on every shiny thing
I'm like that black crow flying
In a blue sky"

No, I wasn't no damn hippie. Just pretentious and full of passion hormones.

Now I tag First Nations, oneofhismoms, Qenny, Chaucer's Bitch (whenever she gets back from Sith Efrica)and Warrior Two. I imagine they will have disparate and interesting reading at hand. Now, do the meme and send it on to five friends or little Jimmy will die!

Answer Me These Questions... Five?

After some delay, I've finally answered the five questions meme-type-thing the charming Tiger Yogi sent me. I just know you've all been waiting with bated breath...

1) Where did you and Mrs. Da Nator meet?

We met at work. We both worked at the same organization, in different departments. I worked on the website, and she did customer care. One day she emailed me telling me she was new there, and she had some questions about the website. Little did I know this was all a ruse, as she’d seen me around and thought I was cute! I had no idea she had asked about me and made up questions so she could meet me in my office.

She showed up with a big smile, a freedom ring necklace that she kept obviously toying with, and a story about how a male customer who had been asking her out was “barking up the wrong tree.” Not being completely stupid, I gathered that she was trying to tell me she was gay. We became friends, but for months afterwards my friends and I referred to her as “tree girl.” Did I mention she hates it when I tell this story?

Anyway, I was going through some bullshit about not believing in love and trying to have a purely sexual relationship with an ex of mine, but over months our friendship grew better and stronger, and eventually I saw the light. By that time I was having regular panic attacks, so Buddha bless Mrs. Nator for putting up with me. Finally, I understood that we were truly in love and stopped waiting for something to come down from the sky and smite me for that. (It could have just been because she’s so good in the sack.)

Anyway, we’ve been inseparable ever since. We’re going on seven official years, come November, and so far nary an itch.

Note to The Powers That Be: This is NOT your cue to smite us.

2) When did you discover that you were an animal communicator?

Let’s see if I can make a long story short (which goes against every fibre of my being). I went through a very traumatic period where my much beloved cat was sick. I exhausted every “normal” option, but couldn’t decided if/when to euthanize her. A friend of mine suggested I try a session with an animal communicator, and while I was extremely skeptical, I figured I hadn’t much to lose, beyond forty or fifty bucks.

The session actually helped me a lot. I still wasn’t sure I believed in it, but it help me to decide it was time to put my cat friend to sleep. After the pain of that, I did some research on AC, casually but curiously.

Coincidentally, or perhaps by some stroke of fate, a couple weeks later a documentary on AC with Dawn Hayman, a well-known communicator came on our local PBS station. I watched it, and was fascinated. Mrs. Nator took note of this and decided I must go to a class with Dawn, even if we could barely afford it. Not that long thereafter, I found myself at Spring Farm Cares, communicating with rescued animals.

It still took me a long time to believe it, but some of the stuff that I got just blew me away. It was especially interesting when members of the group would exchange photos of our pets at home and then tell our partners in the exercise what we were getting. My accuracy rate was very high. It was wonderful and extremely disorienting at the same time, as if reality had shifted.

It took me months of practicing, results, reading and other classes to feel it was real and I was really doing it. Actually, as you may have been reading, my faith in AC has not been strong of late, so it’s good to remember that. I really appreciate you asking this question, because it’s important for me to face what I feel now about AC and why it’s changed. I can’t deny all the evidence of it over the years, and yet I’m afraid of it. To be continued…

3) When did you first know that you were a lesbian?

Lord, that’s a tough one. I can tell you I was a practicing lesbian from a very young age – maybe six or seven. However, when I was caught with my best friend as a child (somehow we always knew to keep what we did secret), I was convinced that what we’d been doing was a “normal phase,” but just that: a phase in heterosexual development, and a shameful one at that.

I pretty much suppressed my sexuality for years after that. I generally thought sex, and my body, pretty gross. I knew something was different about me, and that I preferred girls to boys, but then I figured most young and teenage girls were involved in drama with each other. Of course, since lesbians weren’t something you saw or heard of in daily life, I’m not even sure I knew they existed, in any tangible sense. I remember only a brief, sudden rush of excitement and embarrassment when I was fourteen or so and my brother brought home a VHS tape of The Hunger. As for many children of the eighties, seeing Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon make out was a seminal (heh) moment. But I couldn’t even fully grok it, what with my father sitting right behind me as I watched it!

So, it wasn’t until college that I finally got it. By the time I was seventeen, I’d been going clubbing in NYC and made lots of fabulous gay boyfriends, but I still didn’t even really get what lesbians were, or even hear much about them. It wasn’t until one of my freshman year roommates informed us that she was gay that something clicked. I began to pick her brain about everything, and eventually started meeting new people, identifying as bisexual, then, over time and with experience, understanding I was a lesbian.

Interestingly enough, as I came out, she decided she was actually straight and literally moved into the closet (our dorm room had a huge walk-in, were she moved her bed and dresser). She was an odd one, but thank you, Daphne, wherever you are, or who knows how long it would have taken me to figure it out. On the other hand, I might have been spared all the hideous drama of being an officer of an extremely dysfunctional LGBT student group, but that’s another story.

It’s amazing to look at kids today and think how different it is. Sometimes I wish I could have known and been out much younger. Of course, nowadays it seems like all the young women are actually coming out as transgender, so maybe I’d have a mangina or pumpable penis by now. It’s all a matter of perspective.

4) Would you live anywhere else but the NYC area?

I’ve asked myself that question many a time. It’s hard to say, because I’ve been here so long and it’s such a part of my identity, but I do tire of it, at times. Let’s say, if the time and feeling were right, yes. I mean, heck, I’ve already got fantasies about at least having a vacation condo in Hawai’i.

5) (Lame one) What is your favorite meal?

Well, I’m going to be lame on the answer, too, and say that I don’t really have “favourites” of anything. Life has too many variables and I am too mood-driven to settle on one thing forever. However, I will tell you the meal I have most often: breakfast, specifically cereal. I could eat cereal 24 hours a day. That is perhaps the one and only thing that I and Jerry Seinfeld have in common.

Thanks for the questions, TY! Now, I won’t tag anyone, but if any of you want questions, let me know, and I’ll make up some for you…

Meme-A-Licious

Oh, look – it’s a way to procrastinate from formatting the dreaded “career change” résumé… I mean, a lovely meme that Warrior Two tagged me to do.

Eight Songs I Am Diggin’ On Right Now:
Dude, I am so lame about music nowadays. There was a time when music was my life, I lived it and breathed it. I performed in coffee houses, made amateur tapes and dreamed of being a professional performer. I have 3 ring binders full of songs I wrote, gathering dust with my old drumsticks and three guitars.

Now I barely even listen to it anymore, and tend to say things like “I don’t understand these kids nowadays and their music,” or “this new band is just imitating X band from my youth. There’s nothing new under the sun”, &c. I spend more time watching TV and on the Interwebs, honestly. Even if I do listen to music, it’s often older stuff.

Have I grown up, or just become old?

Anyway, let’s see what I can think of…

1. Keane, “Is It Any Wonder.” I think this was a hit last year. Nice little emo/indie rock tune, showing the influence of U2, who they opened for on tour. I got into this song when it lodged in my head after playing five hundred times on the Madden 07 soundtrack.

Incidentally, my new Madden superstar is our big, tall adopted son, Bayard. He’s a rookie wide receiver for Kansas City this year, but I’m hoping I can get him a contract with the Giants. He’s a killer kick returner, too. He looks like a taller Tiki Barber. Hee.

2. OK Go, "Invincible". You’ve gotta enjoy the clever premise of a song that imagines the singer’s heartless lover forcefully thwarting an alien invasion. At least, I do.

Runner up: OK Go, “Do What You Want.” Mainly because you can never get enough cowbell!

3. The theme from “Cubis 2”. I play this game on my iPod almost every day during my commute, and the burbling, loopy synthesized soundtrack is now constantly stuck in my head. Fortunately, it’s a pretty good one. Unfortunately, I also find myself obsessively creating cube combinations in my head, just like I used to do with Minesweeper and Tetris, and Mrs. Nator now does with Sudoku.

4. Stevie Wonder, “Power Flower.” A classic from my youth. Not a hit, this song comes from The Secret Life of Plants, a double album of what was supposed to be a soundtrack for a movie that I don’t think was ever released. The album didn’t do very well for a Wonder release, mainly because a lot of it was atmospheric. I still liked it, though, and this is one of my go-to songs while singing in the shower. It’s a sunny love ballad to nature sung in the voice of Pan, the Greek god thereof. Avoiding the obvious bleat of a goat, however, Wonder sings in an unexpected, smooth falsetto that could put Smokey Robinson to shame. The synthesized backgrounds are a little hokey and dated, but this song never fails to put me in a calm, contented mood. I’ve been listening to it on occasion lately just to relieve stress!

5. Stevie Wonder, “Love’s In Need of Love Today.” Another classic, this time from Songs In The Key of Life. The theme can make you sad, but the melody and singing lift you.

Runner up: the equally good remake by Joan Osborne. Joan is one of my favourite current female vocalists. Honestly, she just kicks ass.

6. Scissor Sisters, “Better Luck Next Time.” Cornball, bouncy, snarky, gay alterna-disco. What’s not to love?

7. Kate Bush, “Cloudbusting.” Kate Bush is one of the most original pop artists out there, and Hounds of Love is still my favourite album of hers. In fact, it’s one of the few albums that makes me actually miss the LP format, as the tracks are divided to tell different stories on either side.

In this song, Kate is telling a story that is both heartbreaking and encouraging. Who is this woman? Why was her father taken away by shadowy men? And yet her memories of her father are filled with joy:

Ev’ry time it rains
I hear you in my head
Like the sun’s coming out
Ooh, I just know that something good is gonna happen
I don’t know when
But just saying it could even make it happen…

Kate Bush is one of the only artists whose songs have actually made me cry, even after repeated listenings. I also made my mom cry by playing “This Woman’s Work,” for her one time. I don’t know why this particular song of Bush’s has been in my head lately – it could be any of a number of hers, instead. But it’s so bittersweetly evocative that once it’s there it’s hard to let go.

8. The Darkness, “Knockers.” HeeHeeHeeee… knockers! I just love The Darkness. They’re like the illicit love children of Queen and the band “Limozeen” from the Homestar Runner cartoons. They just crack my shit all up… and they can play!

I am still utterly heartbroken that the lead singer left before I could see them in concert. Sigh.

If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life?
Get a personal chef and trainer. Travel the world. Make a lot of donations, particularly for the boo-boo animals. Spend more time with animals and learn more about them. Give nice things to my family and friends. Buy a brownstone in Brooklyn and a vacation house. Learn to SCUBA dive & snowboard. Take writing and photography courses. Have my own home recording studio.

As most of you know, I did start a writing workshop recently, but had to stop due to the job madness. I still hope to take a SCUBA course this summer, though, if money and time allow.

Money is just that - an object, so why aren’t you doing it?
Um, as I said, I’m trying to do what I can when I can swing it. I did get to go to Costa Rica twice and Hawaii once, snorkel, hike volcanoes, and meet wild animals. I’m pursuing being a vet tech and SCUBA, and work on writing and photography when I can. I sponsor a child in Ecuador and give donations when I can. I try to give nice stuff for Xmas and birthdays, and it’s in our plans to buy at least an apartment someday. Uh, I sing in the shower…

So, really, I’m doing things I’d do with money, only on a smaller scale. Hey, just get off my back, people!

What’s better: horses or cows?
I try not to make value judgments on animals – just humans.

What do you think the secret to happiness is?
Great, now I’ve got that damn You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown song going through my head …

When was the last time you had a dream that you either remember well or did not want to awake from? Can you share a bit?
Um, I dreamt last night that my boss threw a party for my last week (fat chance) and on the stairs of the opera house made this big announcement that I could come back and see whatever show I wanted for free whenever I wanted. I was like “um… thanks.” I wasn’t sorry I woke up.

That’s actually not exemplary, because I tend to have very wild and symbolic dreams. I’ll tell you one of my favourites that I had when I was a teenager. I used to have reoccurring nightmares about tidal waves. I’m not sure why they started, but over time the waves grew smaller and smaller until the last few were puddles. I’d like to think this means I’ve conquered some fears they represented, or something.

Anyway, in this dream I was walking down a beach by a city. Suddenly people started running around hysterically screaming that it was the end of the world. I looked toward the sea and there was this infinitely huge wave rushing towards us. I could see animals, trees, cars and pieces of buildings roiling in it, like it had already been partly around the world and swept it away. I knew instantly that this was it – the water was going to engulf and destroy everything in a few seconds, and there was nothing I could do. I briefly wondered if I should pray, but then just as the first droplet hit me I suddenly thought aloud, “hey, didn’t it say somewhere in the Bible that God said he’d never destroy the Earth by flood again?”

No sooner had I said it than the water covered me. But then I heard a loud, deep, echoing voice say: “Hmm. I forgot about that. Maybe I’ll come back in a few eons sometime when I’ve thought of something else.” In an instant, with a gigantic zzzzooorcht like the emptying of a drain, the water was gone, and I had saved the world!

I woke up laughing. I told my father about it at breakfast, and I believe he worked it into a sermon that Sunday.

When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I think I went through the typical phases of fireman, astronaut and superhero. Does fantasizing about riding into my nursery school playground in armor on a white horse and rescuing my teacher, who would then marry me, count?

Later on I wanted to be a magician, and after that a rock star. So practical, I was!

Complete this statement: Love is…
“… a many spleeeendooored thiiiiing!”

But seriously, love is awesome. I am so grateful for those I love: my friends, family, and chosen family of the amazing Mrs. Nator and our critters. I had always been a romantic and hoped for a “soul mate” (bleeaurgh!), but I’d given up by the time I met her. Now, my life is gloriously changed and better than ever. I love you, Mrs. Nator, my Boo!

Can you tell a good story?
There once was a man from Nantucket…

Can you remember your last daydream? What was it about?
Um… buying scrubs for my new job. Hee. I’m so obsessed with them… they’ve become my little symbolic badge of being an “animal care professional,” I think…

My usual daydreams, however? Involve snuggling with the cats or diving someplace with gorgeous coral and sealife, like Hawai’i.

Mmmm, Hawai’i…

If you were to thank someone today, who would you thank?
Mrs. Nator, because I should thank her every day, for everything she does and is. (Awww!)

And that’s it. I shall tag Helen, mainly because she’s given me some good suggestions for music in the past. But I have no illusions that she will actually do this meme. Enjoy!