Friday, March 09, 2007

I Don't Want No Scrubs

Well, actually, I do, because tomorrow is my first day at the vet clinic! Whoopitty-kai-ai-yay!

Of course, I'm nervous. I want to do a good job, but I know I've got a lot to learn. I'm also not used to being on my feet all day, so that will be different.

The pressure is somewhat on because I've wanted to try working with animals for years, and I'm really hoping this will turn out to be something I like and I'm good at. Of course, it can't be too hard, because they're training a 16-year-old the day after me. But, if I do end up liking it, it would be a little humiliating if I wasn't better at it than a 16-year-old. I'm not looking for being a volunteer forever; if I enjoy it, I'll want to aim for a paid position, and probably some further education.

All that said, I can't let myself psyche myself out about it, especially since I'm sure the first few days, at least, will consist mainly of cleaning up poop, piss, blood and vomit. The good part about this is, now I can use this fact to both as an excuse to pawn off cleaning the kitty litter at home to Mrs. Nator, and distract myself from my nerves by asking "what in the world am I going to wear?"

T-shirts and jeans will do at first, but if I plan on staying awhile, and I want something that both gives me an air of professionalism and washes out easily, I'll have to get some scrubs. Now, we all know your basic blue or green plain scrubs, and those are fine, especially at $10 a pop, but it gets boring. That's when a young girl's fancy turns to specialty scrubs!

1. NFL Scrubs. These have got to be my first choice. They're a little more interesting than plain scrubs but, because although I'm a chick, I'm also a big, fat dyke, there's a whiff of testosterone about them. The model pictured is the Steelers, but you know I'd have to get the NY Giants version, dude.

2. Striped or colorblock scrubs. The next step up in simple, yet a bit more interesting than plain scrubs. The colorblocks are made by Dickies, which makes me think that, actually, I could just get a bunch of Dickies work shirts. Being a lesbian, I've already worn them frequently and know they look good on me. As a bonus, they have collars, chest pockets and come in color blocks, too (see fig. 2c).
fig. 2a

fig. 2b

fig. 2c

3. Geek-boy prints. Yes, there are all kinds of prints out there, from cuddly cartoon kittens and victorian florals to American flags and giant, neon polka dots. But why wear those when I can wear Retro X-Men or Marvel heroes scrubs? And yes, flames. Perhaps less nerdy than an embroidered Starfleet insignia, but less potentially offensive than an iron on of Ratfink or The Cramps. Hmm. Come to think of it, I could just get plain scrubs and fire up the jet-printer with some iron-on paper...

4. Hawaiian shirt-inspired prints. Although I don't like the girly foo-foo florals, I have been known to wear retro Hawaiian shirts, and I really have been in love with Hawaii since I visited. The key is to either not go too loud, or just go so over the top that it's visually offensive.

6. And finally, there are the... specialty prints. Yes, these include everything from safari animals and fur-pattern prints to NASCAR and African Kente-cloth morifs. But really, even if you can pass up the "Geishas & Swans" or the... uh, "Disco Witches" patterns, how can you turn down the "British Babes" on Vespas, or the perfect marriage that is "Choppers and Palms"? (I know which ones First Nations would recommend.)

Oh, and fine. Just for the days I do feel girly, Hello Kitty in a kimono. So sue me.

What do you think I should wear?


Kenyo said...

Check out the scrubs at Frederick's of Hollywood - some bitchin' cutouts in all the usual places.

But seriously, have a great time working at the vets. And don't get bit.

Now a question for the webster in you. Do you use any or all of Macromedia Studio 8? I've been with it since Dreamweaver 4 and Flash 5. The Studio 8 looks really good.

Helen said...


I knew I shoulda gone to vet school

Son of a...


Doug said...

Hello Kitty. Definitely :)

TigerYogi said...

I agree with Doug. It is a Vet's Clinic after all!

Hello Kitty all the way!!!

Heather said...

How'd the big first day go? :)

claire said...

I'm glad that you said the hawaiian prints were visually offensive because i was totally thinking that those were much more offensive than any of the comic book prints. :) My vote goes to the disco witches. How can you argue with that... or the choppers and palms. Two random items just thrown together like that? How can you beat that?

kris said...

My vote is for the sporty stripe/colorblock scrubs. You may not always be in the mood for all-over patterns...

ivan said...

No doubt: Brit Vespa hotties.

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