Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Your Dreams Explained!

1. If you dream that you are flying, but suddenly start to fall:
You are afraid of success, or that your success and happiness will end. Is there someone or something in your life holding you back?

2. If you dream about turtles:
You will make slow but steady progress. You need to slow down and pace yourself. Alternatively, it indicates that you are sheltering yourself from the realities of life.

3. If you dream about your teeth falling out:
Either you are feeling powerless, or you are lying. Cut that shit out.

4. If you dream there are rocks you must climb:
You are taking too much Prozac. Also, you have issues with shoes. Stay away from pigs, if you know what's good for you.

5. If you dream you are a pirate bearing an uncanny resemblance to Angelina Jolie:
Alright, now you're just making shit up.

6. If you dream you are suddenly back in high school, where you have to take multiple exams you didn't know about in those infernal blue booklets, and you are late for all of them and don't remember how to do anything, and all the kids are teasing you and trying to tell the teacher that you are cheating:
You have returned to school later in life, and most of the students are 20 years younger than you. You just had an unfortunate and unlikely accident with a shopping cart that kept you out of classes that, little did you know, were to prep you for your first Chemistry homework and your first Intro to Vet Tech quiz, which requires extensive memorization of medical terms. Also? You can't ever make up that lab you missed. Oh, and you're so stressed about studying that you're procrastinating my writing stupid blog entries. Nervous, yet?

Or, you will soon come into a big fortune!

Your mileage may vary.


oneofhismoms said...

Uuuuh. I hope you get the fortune. Now stop checking your comments and hit the books!

First Nations said...

tell me i didn't give you nightmares-!

now i must go look at the picture of angelina jolie dressed like a pirate again.


i dont even LIKE angelina jolie.


First Nations said...

....and GO STUDY!

Kenyo said...

Hope you are feeling better. Heal real fast!!!

claire said...

Oh super. So you're having a good time in school then, are you...

I am so sorry. I am stressed out for you because i would be cowering on the floor under the lab table if i walked into class where there was a test that i didn't know about.

You poor, poor thing. STUDY NOW. STUUDDDDY.

Helen the Felon said...

Last night, I dreamed that George Clooney was my boyfriend. Seriously.

This means that George Clooney will, in fact, be my boyfriend at some point, does it not? I think it does.

Rimshot said...

Next time, could you please dream that I'm with Angelina? I's been a while (you know).

m00nchild said...

what does it mean if i dream about being chased by Michael Myers -- who actually looks like a Ken doll in a tight bathing suit -- while wearing a bikini -- and rushing into the bathroom as fast as i can to barricade the door behind me, take off said bikini and take a shower?