Wednesday, December 06, 2006

While You Were Away...

Since I stopped doing animal communication over a year ago, I have gradually stopped checking my old site email (I have an automatic response that says I'm not practicing now and refers clients elsewhere). On a whim, I decided to purge the electric tons of spam in that account inbox, and stumbled upon this:
Date: Fri, 6 Oct 2006 16:52:49 -0400 [10/06/2006 01:52:49 PM PST] From: xxxxxxxx To: xxxxxxxxx Subject: ABC Television is looking for a family to feature!

Dear [Da Nator],

I am the Casting Producer for ABC Televisions hit show, Wife Swap. I havebeen researching pet communicators/pet psychologists and found your website! I am looking for a family where mom or dad is a pet communicator or pet psychologist! I thought it couldn't hurt to reach out to you to see if you were interested in this opportunity.

In case you are unfamiliar with the show, the premise of Wife Swap is to take two different families and have the mom's switch place to experience how another family lives. Half of the week, mom lives the life of the family she is staying with. Then she introduces a "rule change" where she implements rules and activities that her family has. It's a positive experience for people to not only learn but teach about other families and other ways of life.

Wife Swap airs on Disney owned ABC television on Mondays at 8 pm- the family hour! There is another show that copies ours. We focus on having fun, learning and teaching. They focus on conflict. I just want to make sure our show doesn't get confused with theirs!

Requirements: Each family should consist of two parents and at least one child over the age of five and should reside in the continental U.S.

If you and your family meet the requirements as stated above and are interested in this opportunity, please contact me right away! If not, perhaps you know a family that meets the requirements and might want to apply! This is a very unique experience that can be life changing for everyone. In addition, each family that tapes an episode of Wife Swap receives a $20,000 honorarium. I know your time is money as well so if you refer a family that appears on our program you will get $1000 as a 'thank you" from us.

I know this is an unusual request but I appreciate you taking the time to read this. If you have any questions, please call me at the number below. Please let me know if you may be able to help me. Thank you for your time.

xxxxxxxxxx | Casting Producer| ABC Television Wife Swap

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry I missed out on the opportunity to "teach about other families and other ways of life"! Do you think they would count our cats and turtles as children? Perhaps they could arrange to have Mrs. Nator and I legally married so we could participate!

Oh, wait, it turns out Wife Swap has already featured episodes with gay men and lesbians... and there was no conflict in those at all! Too bad I don't have children, or I might get to spend several weeks being hounded by cameras while I endure "living the life" of a homophobic family who eats cats and dogs raw, and their mommy teaches my children that lesbians go to Hell and how to make turtle soup out of our pets! Whee!

Oh, the missed opportunites for learning and fame...

2 comments:

First Nations said...

no
fucking
WAY.
you have GOT to get back in touch with them, danator. do it! omg!
*tickled shitless*

BigAssBelle said...

and of course the cocksucker's from oklahoma. fuck me.