Sunday, June 04, 2006

Delayed Outrage

Alright, when the whole brou-ha-ha happened over Brokeback Mountain being "robbed" of an Oscar, I thought it was just the queer community getting all defensive and paranoid. I mean, I enjoyed the movie, I even thought it was a great film, in some ways, but it wasn't one of my favourites, ever. I just figured that the winner, Crash, which I hadn't seen, must have been an excellent film. Of course I heard it got mixed reviews, but what movie doesn't?

Well, I'm here now to say: the queers had it right. The Academy is full of self-congratulatory, homophobic idiots. In other words, I finally saw Crash last night.

Who on Earth would think this was a good movie? It had a some good cinematography, to be sure, and a lot of excellent actors showing flashes of brilliance, despite the horrible script, but what the hell? It was heavy-handed, clunky, derivative, deus-ex-machina, self-referential bullshit. And then it hit me: Hollywood would think it was a good movie. Because those in the movie industry would think that somehow they were looking at the world - which to them is wealthy Los Angeles, to be exact - and somehow confronting some harsh, hidden truths - which anyone who was not a rich, privileged resident of LA-LA-land would - hello? - already know.

I can't even begin to go into all the things about this movie that made me roll my eyes and/or get angry. I don't think I can even give a semi-coherent, detailed analysis because it makes me so incredulously apoplectic just thinking about it. Suffice it to say, two things: I actually reflexively smacked myself in the forehead several times while viewing the movie, and I still feel strangely dirty from watching it. Now that's some bad shit, right there.

So, once and for all: my homo brethren, you were right! Hollywood is homophobic. It may actually be that Hollywood is so engaged in masturbatory navel-gazing that it is not so much homophobic, per se, as... retarded, really, but yes, the common gay life experience is completely foreign to them as any common life experience is. And, for the record, I don't think Brokeback Mountain is the best movie ever, even if it has poignant, hot, same-sex cowboy love in it. But in this case? We was robbed. And I'm sorry for not believing, before. Je regrette! Please forgive.


Qenny said...

In that case, I think it's only right that rather than pay to hire a copy og Crash, if I want to watch it, I should download an illegal copy of it right away.

Hollywood is full of gay men, particularly those who hold the purse strings, but they are terrified of pushing the boundaries because they are slaves to the bottom line.

Da Nator said...

Well, you may find you have a different opinion of it, so go ahead. Of course, it would be the wrong opinion. ;o)

I'm very glad we didn't pay to see it. We've got more cable channels than we know how to handle, so we just TiVoed it one day. I'm glad we didn't even spend the time on illegally downloading it...

Helen the Felon said...

You know what else? I finally saw TransAmerica last night, and concluded that Felicity Huffman got totally screwed for Best Actress, too. That was one of the most brilliant performances I've ever seen, no exaggeration. Eff the academy! Eff them in the ear!

MEK the Bear said...

I felt the same as you did, and then I saw Crash, and living in L.A. myself I can state with firm understanding and knowledge that Crash, the academy award winning film, sucked big monkey ass!

Seriously, worst film I've seen in a VERY long time, how contrived and ridiculous can you get? And the acting was FAR too over the top. Ridiculous garbage, I'm not sure how it even got nominated!

Brokeback was a tragic story but a least it smacked of reality and really well drawn characters, Crash was just a wreck. (And yes, I realize I'm probably the 1 gillionth person to say that).