Take A Powder

It’s a hot day. Knowing the subway platforms will be like unto steam rooms, you decide to apply a little post-shower baby powder before your commute. However, when you get to work and go to the bathroom, you realize that you overdid it a little when you pull down your underpants and a small mountain of powder collapses and avalanches the fuck all over the back of your black pants.*

Think fast! Staying in the stall, calmly remove your trousers and use the powder-stained ass side to wipe the commuter sweat from your forehead, face and neck. This not only rubs off the glaring white mess, but refreshes you and leaves you smelling like a freshly cleaned baby’s bottom.

Now you can temper your embarrassment with a mild sense of cleverness and accomplishment. Go get ‘em tiger!

*Not that this happened to me, this very damn morning.