If you happen to fall down the stairs when you are, say, running to catch a train while wearing flip-flops (just as the MTA safety posters warn you not to do), an effective method of slowing your fall is to grab a firm hold on a fat man’s ass.
In the future, you may want to consider actually knocking said rotund individual beneath you, to better cushion your fall.
Lezzies and Stingrays and Bats, Oh My!
I was already looking forward to our scheduled Twilight Tour of Prospect Park next week, wherein we might see fauna such as herons, wood ducks and bats. Then, Mrs. Nator decided to spring on me what we’ll be doing for my birthday this year.
Allegedly because she wanted to know how many people I thought she should invite, and whether I wanted to get a better underwater camera – but more likely because Mrs. Nator cannot stand keeping a secret when she’s excited – she informed me that we are going to be snorkeling with sand sharks, stingrays, and tropical fish from around the world! Yes, we are going to the Atlantis Marine World Aquarium between the forks of Long Island for the day, where we will check out the exhibits and explore the 80,000-gallon Shark Reef Lagoon. Sure, I have snorkeled with dolphins, green turtles and other tropical fish in Hawaii and Costa Rica, but I never got to do the night-time ray dive I wanted to do, and I’ve certainly never swum with sharks! This should be a lot of fun, in that we can get close contact with these fascinating animals, as well as touring the rest of the Aquarium.
But that’s not all! We’ll also be having a dinner with friends, and then, possibly in February, we will be getting a behind-the-scenes tour of the affiliated facility at The Riverhead Foundation for Marine Research and Preservation. This means we will get to meet some of the vets, scientists and other caregivers who rescue and rehabilitate animals who become sick, injured or stranded in the area, such as seals, turtles and dolphins. We will be going in February because that is high season for strandings, so we are most likely to be able to see animals and how they’re treated. This is a wonderful opportunity for me, not only because I find it fascinating, in general, but because I am strongly considering going back to school to study animal care and/or behaviour. So, not only will I be able to check out exactly what goes on at such a facility, but I may be able to ask related questions of the staff, and possibly discuss volunteer and intern possibilities. I am so totally stoked! (You can tell by the way I revert to my teenage slang.)
So, in summary: WOOOO! And also, do I not have the best girlfriend ever? She knows and loves me so well.
Now how in hell can I get her a meeting with Rufus Wainwright for her birthday?
Alas, my alternate girlfriend Natalie was eliminated from So You Think You Can Dance last night. I was not really surprised, considering her pairing with Ivan (who deserved to have been eliminated earlier), her previous placements and the judges’ tongue-lashings. I’m not very disappointed, either, as it seems that, at this stage of the game, not only is pretty much everyone good enough to be the final winner, but some of them seem exhausted, injured and ready to be finished. In fact, Heidi, who seemed like something of a dark horse for a while, has looked to be the only one of the girls with any real energy left for the past couple weeks.
So, as the very classy Natalie said, “opa!” We look forward to seeing her on the tour. I’m sure she has a fine career ahead of her, both as a dancer and an actress.
As for the rest? I’m still convinced Benji is going to win, and I definitely think he should. His talent, attitude and star power are all outstanding, as much as I like all the others.
And Mia? No longer my alternate girlfriend number two. She may be dykey, cute and an amazing choreographer, but she is just too damn pretentious and mean. She can call me when she gets a little less full of herself. In the meantime, I’ll entertain myself by wondering what would happen were she and Jackie Warner of Work Out were to meet…
It's Getting Cooler! Woo-Hoo!
Maybe I can actually get to the beach this weekend...