Friday, August 04, 2006


You Learn Something New Every Day Dept.

If you happen to fall down the stairs when you are, say, running to catch a train while wearing flip-flops (just as the MTA safety posters warn you not to do), an effective method of slowing your fall is to grab a firm hold on a fat man’s ass.

In the future, you may want to consider actually knocking said rotund individual beneath you, to better cushion your fall.

Lezzies and Stingrays and Bats, Oh My!

I was already looking forward to our scheduled Twilight Tour of Prospect Park next week, wherein we might see fauna such as herons, wood ducks and bats. Then, Mrs. Nator decided to spring on me what we’ll be doing for my birthday this year.

Allegedly because she wanted to know how many people I thought she should invite, and whether I wanted to get a better underwater camera – but more likely because Mrs. Nator cannot stand keeping a secret when she’s excited – she informed me that we are going to be snorkeling with sand sharks, stingrays, and tropical fish from around the world! Yes, we are going to the Atlantis Marine World Aquarium between the forks of Long Island for the day, where we will check out the exhibits and explore the 80,000-gallon Shark Reef Lagoon. Sure, I have snorkeled with dolphins, green turtles and other tropical fish in Hawaii and Costa Rica, but I never got to do the night-time ray dive I wanted to do, and I’ve certainly never swum with sharks! This should be a lot of fun, in that we can get close contact with these fascinating animals, as well as touring the rest of the Aquarium.

But that’s not all! We’ll also be having a dinner with friends, and then, possibly in February, we will be getting a behind-the-scenes tour of the affiliated facility at The Riverhead Foundation for Marine Research and Preservation. This means we will get to meet some of the vets, scientists and other caregivers who rescue and rehabilitate animals who become sick, injured or stranded in the area, such as seals, turtles and dolphins. We will be going in February because that is high season for strandings, so we are most likely to be able to see animals and how they’re treated. This is a wonderful opportunity for me, not only because I find it fascinating, in general, but because I am strongly considering going back to school to study animal care and/or behaviour. So, not only will I be able to check out exactly what goes on at such a facility, but I may be able to ask related questions of the staff, and possibly discuss volunteer and intern possibilities. I am so totally stoked! (You can tell by the way I revert to my teenage slang.)

So, in summary: WOOOO! And also, do I not have the best girlfriend ever? She knows and loves me so well.

Now how in hell can I get her a meeting with Rufus Wainwright for her birthday?


Alas, my alternate girlfriend Natalie was eliminated from So You Think You Can Dance last night. I was not really surprised, considering her pairing with Ivan (who deserved to have been eliminated earlier), her previous placements and the judges’ tongue-lashings. I’m not very disappointed, either, as it seems that, at this stage of the game, not only is pretty much everyone good enough to be the final winner, but some of them seem exhausted, injured and ready to be finished. In fact, Heidi, who seemed like something of a dark horse for a while, has looked to be the only one of the girls with any real energy left for the past couple weeks.

So, as the very classy Natalie said, “opa!” We look forward to seeing her on the tour. I’m sure she has a fine career ahead of her, both as a dancer and an actress.

As for the rest? I’m still convinced Benji is going to win, and I definitely think he should. His talent, attitude and star power are all outstanding, as much as I like all the others.

And Mia? No longer my alternate girlfriend number two. She may be dykey, cute and an amazing choreographer, but she is just too damn pretentious and mean. She can call me when she gets a little less full of herself. In the meantime, I’ll entertain myself by wondering what would happen were she and Jackie Warner of Work Out were to meet…

And finally,

It's Getting Cooler! Woo-Hoo!

Maybe I can actually get to the beach this weekend...

Cheers, yall.


Hanuman1960 said...

Sounds like it's going to be a faaabulous birthday celebration!

Better get cracking on those Rufus Wainwright tickets!!!

Lynette said...

damn, i can't even say rufus wainwright out loud without sounding like i'm deficient.

great birthday plans! sounds like a blast. good for mrs nator!

Dope on the Slope said...

Good on ya', as they say back in Hillbillyville.

You'll love the cruise. Post some pix of the aquarium fauna.

Qenny said...

The trip to the aquarium sounds fantastic. Hope you have lots of fun, and avoid being eaten by a shark :)

And tube journeys will never be the same again. I'm going to actively look out for fat people to stalk. Just in case.
Did that helpful li'l tip come from personal experience, btw?

Helen the Felon said...

Mrs. Nator most definitely roolz. As do big fat man asses that happen to be in the right place at the right time.

Did you read the article about the manatee swimming up the Hudson? Not sure if that's awesome or yet another sign of the apocalypse, but it's interesting at any rate.

I kinda think Jackie Warner is cool. Actually, I think she's really cool. Her girlfriend is an annoying dramadayke, but Jackie's sorta kick-ass.

First Nations said...

oh my god..that first paragraph, there, those are WORDS TO LIVE BY.
i'll never forget them.
i'll always be grateful *snif*

happy happy belated birthday!
or is it pre-lated? and what does the pope have to do with anything?
anyway happy happy happy!

Da Nator said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes, y'all. It's not actually until the 27th, so there's still time to get me presents! ;o)

qenny - uh, no that didn't come from personal experience, I... er, saw it happen to someone else. Yeah, that's the ticket!

And notice I said "fat man." This is to dissuade anyone from using my fat, giant (yet disturbingly firm) ass in just such an emergency.

helen - I did read about the manatee, and actually have a blog in prog about it. ("Blog in prog" - I am a poetic genius, eh?) Thanks!

And whether Ms. Warner is cool or not is still unclear to me. Frankly, I find her a little scary.