Thursday, October 05, 2006

Thursday Thoughts

Listen, Marketing People

I do not need cutesy little flowers on my maxi pads. They are not going to make me feel more like a woman. If getting my period does not prove that I am a woman, I don’t know what does.

They are not going to make me feel better about having my period. The only good thing about getting my period is that I know my insides are still (sort of) functioning, since I’m a dyke and never have pregnancy scares. There really is nothing that could make me feel better about getting it besides getting every day of it off, plus a the ability to eat unlimited chocolate with no weight gain.

Finally, they are not really that cute. Especially when they are covered in blood clots. Thank you for your attention to this very important matter.

Foods of Fall

I just picked up a quart of Concord grapes and a jug of apple cider from the Thursday mini-farmers' market. Add Catawba grapes and you would have the main harvest we used to have on my stepdaddy’s farm around this time each year (we’d have pumpkins, squash and rhubarb, too, among other things, but the vineyard and the orchard produced way more than the garden, with minimal effort). Not only does this make me feel all nostalgic, cozy and autumnal but, since I’m a firm believer in food as self-medication, this may actually make me feel better about my period.

Jesus Loves My Big Gay Girlfriend

And he wants you to pray for her, as she has her big confrontation meeting with the ignorant, condescending assholes board of her organization today. She’s giving what may be the final presentation on why selling the building would be a really stupid idea, in the face of a group of board members who have appointed themselves the authoritative committee on this issue and done no research. They’ve resorted to hiring consultants to give them exactly the “facts” and numbers they want (seriously – they pretty much told them what they wanted the reports to say, even if it was wrong), been abusive to the staff, and generally comported themselves like our current presidential administration. Really, if you don’t pray, at least send some good thoughts Mrs. Nator’s way. She’s fighting the good fight, and she’ll need them. And so will I, if I’m going to live with the effects on her.

A review of the show last night, among other things, will be posted later. Ta-ta!

3 comments:

claire said...

YAY! Blood clots!
YAYAYAYAAAAAYYY!

First Nations said...

remember the perfumy ones? that freaky koolaid smell that nothing in nature had? and how every time your body temperature approached, oh, say, 98.6 it released this greasy sweet cloud of fragrance that said 'Hey! guess what everyone I'm menstruating!' IN BIG BLOCK LETTERS?
yeah, good times.

Heather said...

My favorite is how my Always with Wings pads now come with the command to "Have a Happy Period!" written all over the paper backing strips.

Egads!