Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Welcome To My Nightmare

or, Welcome To My Fat, Old Halloween.

1. I went to the tailor to get a couple of pairs of pants hemmed. They were too tight. They had been fine when I bought them. LAST WEEK.

2. The girl who went into the store in front of me was trick-or-treating. I was buying cat food.

3. There are two schools behind my office. Notes on the kids' costumes:

a. Listen, kid - have some pride, already. When I was your age, I had to have a complete costume, with accessories. You have a cape, and... that's it. Just a cape. Either wear a costume or don't, is what I'm saying.

b. Jesus on a Luge, how are all the parents in NYC allowing their 14 year olds to go out in the skimpiest ho-bag costumes ever? Note: if your little girl's Halloween costume came from Frederick's of Hollywood, SEND IT BACK.

c. OK, props to the tall, gangly young man in the curly blonde wig. I'm not sure who or what he was supposed to be, but he was in drag, fishnets and old-school rollerskates, and he was fierce. That's good enough for me.

& d. Dang, even the kids who really worked on their costumes look... like playing little kids. Remember when you were a kid, and when you put on your costume you thought it was so convincing that other people actually thought you were scary/adult/Conan the Barbarian? Well, not so much. The illusion is lost. Sigh.

4. My girlfriend went home early feeling gross and I want to go home to bed. Also, I think my kidney hurts.

Well, at least no ghosts, so far.

Happy Halloween. Bah, humbug.


BTL said...

"Jesus on a Luge"?? Now that's a visual metaphor. For what, I have no idea, maybe because I'm Jewish. Your mind is a dark and scary place, Danator. But I like it.

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Da Nator said...

Oh, the irony. ^