Saturday, December 11, 2004

News of The Day - Saturday Edition

News of the Day Thing you might have missed...

My Tinfoil Hat Is Firmly Attached to My Head I follow the hope-in-Hell revelations that investigations are beginning into possible voting fraud in Ohio. Apparently some major shit is going to hit the fan on Monday, according to Cliff Arnebeck, who spoke about it in this interview on the Randi Rhodes show yesterday. I'm not trying to stir things up, but have you heard orange banners are on sale at Old Navy?

Pass the Fugu
It's finally been confirmed that Viktor Yushchenko, the more progressive candidate for the office of Prime Minister of Ukraine that has also been judged to be a victim of voter fraud, was poisoned with Dioxin. Shady opponents have been trying to pass off his terrible health and appearance as resulting from "bad sushi". Do they have Teriyaki Boy retaurants in Kiev?

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar
The Balete tribe in Botswana have their first female chief, appropriately named... Woman. No wonder our VP is named Dick.

How Do You Say "Oy, Vey" in Kikuyu?
Just as environmental and humanitarian activist Wangari Maathai was to receive the first nobel prize given to an African woman, she made some controversial statements about AIDS. Not that you can blame her for being suspicious...

Stay Together... for the Children
You knew it was going to happen. The first divorce cases are trickling in after the rush on gay marriage in Massachusetts. Not surprisingly, the most difficult part of the first one was deciding who got custody of the cats. Don't tell M this, but just in case, I have three little carriers packed and some bus tickets stashed away...

But the Rats & Pigeons Are Happy...
Protests continue over the eviction of the famous hawks Pale Male and Lola from an upscale parkside co-op roof. Co-op board members, however, not budging, have been quoted as saying that the small ledge that formerly held the nest "could go for a few hundred thou in this market."

And finally, Julia Child is Dead
And more power to her, as she didn't have to witness the mess I made of my attempted sugarless, dairy-free egg nog. Is it supposed to come out as watery custard? Note to self: buy the box. You'll only drink half of it anyway, and if it makes you throw up, at least you can't take the blame for it...

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